real.faith blog

Are you tired of spending long hours in the seminary library? Do you feel like you’re wasting all your time and effort in pursuit of a new theological debate to assure your place in theological superstardom? Friends, I have just the thing for you. With this easy-to-follow guide for writing pop theology, you are sure to solve all of your scholarly problems without the hassle of unnecessary theological reflection.

The Top Ten Guidelines for Writing Pop Theology

10. Write under the assumption that today’s readers prefer “self help” books tinted with theological niceties, perfect for teaching morality to Johnny and Suzie.

9. Introduce popular business lingo and techniques. This will not only reenforce the strength of the status quo, but also provide a lovely framework for a refreshing section on mission statements!

8. Feel free to make sweeping generalizations. The phrase “biblical times” is most helpful in this respect. Remember: always favor the universal over the particular.

7. Be inconsistent. Nobody likes a redundant author. For example, discount the importance of Jewish cultural law in one paragraph and quote a rabbi in the next. You will seem well-rounded.

6. Develop a catchy slogan that evokes a sense of assurance in the midst of doubters: long enough to capture attention, but short enough to fit onto an average church sign.

5. Do not include any hint of your denominational tradition. Cut ties with it altogether if necessary. Nondenominationalism is the new denominationalism.

4. If you include prayers at the end of each chapter, be sure to remove all Trinitarian language. This makes it easier for seekers who are more comfortable with self-help language and affirmations.

3. Use a trusty version of the Bible, such as the King James Version or The Message. Make sure the Scripture to sentence ratio is always 1:5.

2. When selecting Scripture, try to find the most obscure passages, preferably ones with little researched scholarship. If you are lucky, one such passage may even double to serve as an outline for your book! Always divorce such passages from their historical and socio- political context.

1. Include all of your major arguments into an easy-to-remember list. Be sure to include a perforated version for the readers to tear out and carry with them at all times. You can also use the last 10 pages of your book to describe supplementary materials to your book, available for order. Don’t forget to include the order form.

I hope that these 10 tips enable you to be the kind of pop theologian you know you could be!!!!

[Note: If you enjoyed this Pop Theology Guide, please consider purchasing Adrienne Trevathan's "How To Write Pop Theology" mugs, t-shirts, calendars, life planners, notebooks, binders, highlighters, backpacks, yard signs, posters, button pins and nail clippers].

[Disclaimer: Adrienne Trevathan will not be held responsible if you follow these steps and are not a successful pop theologian].

For the next few weeks I will be sporadically devoting time to the slaughter of various and sundry sacred cows. (Read: This is a series of blogs that will be interrupted whenever something better comes up.) For those of you who might be unfamiliar with the term, a “sacred cow” is anything Christians elevate to an unhealthy level of significance, to the point where it almost becomes an idol. For example, music is a big one. Some people can’t worship without it, and there are others who will almost get into physical fights about whether or not to include contemporary music in a church service. People get pretty heated when you start attacking their sacred cows, so I’m a little uneasy about this, but I’m nothing if not honest.

Today’s cow is a very popular trend in Christian circles, commonly called “ quiet time.”

What is it?

Time spent alone with God, either worshiping, reading the Bible, praying, singing, or relating to God in some manner. It is a private affair done frequently for no set period of time.

Is it good?

Yes. Anything that involves relating to God, or spending time in His presence is a good thing when done with the proper motive and in such a way that gives glory to God. There is nothing wrong with this, in principle.

When is it dangerous?

The problem with “quiet time” isn’t it’s purpose or it’s practice. The problem is what people do with it. It has become a cheap, self-righteous act. People are actually going around feeling super-spiritual because they wake up at 4 o’clock every morning and spend 2 hours in prayer. Then, they go to church and lord it over other people. “Did you have your quiet time this morning?” “I spent 5 hours in the Word this morning, it was such a blessing.” “You really should have a quiet time.”

It seems ironic to me that people who are so big on something called “quiet time” have such a hard time being quiet about their expressions of personal worship. It’s not that big of a deal. If you want to talk about total depravity and self-righteousness for a second, let me lay it out for you real quick.

Jesus commanded his followers to “pray without ceasing.”

We beat our chests and are proud of ourselves for spending 20 minutes to 2 hours out of a 24 hour day in private worship. That’s 8 percent of the day. Pretty far from the “without ceasing” command. In fact, we’re actually penciling God in, fitting the God of the universe into our human schedules. My point is, we fall blatantly short and then turn around and boast about it.

To make matters even worse, we make Quiet Time into some sort of sacred rite or requirement, and we make other people feel guilty because they can’t be spiritual enough to have a “quiet time.”

Maybe she’s a single mother with four kids, who can’t find quiet, let alone any time to herself. Maybe things aren’t going well at work, and he stays up at night worrying about it, and wakes up late, hurried and grouchy. He could pray, but he isn’t sure God is listening. Maybe the doctor’s just told her she’s not going to get any better. She has questions, but she doesn’t want to approach a God who terrifies her.

Could all of these people be spending more time with God? Absolutely. But sometimes God seems far away. It’s a natural consequence of a fallen world. We draw our bridge diagrams and talk about the bridge between God and man, and then we make people feel guilty when they feel separated from God.

Go into your prayer closet, Jesus said, and pray to your father who hears you. Don’t pray in the public square to be seen by men. Don’t tell people about it either. Yes, time with God is a great experience and it may have meant the world to you this morning, but for some of us, who are struggling at the moment, you’re adding a heavy burden.

To those who are struggling right now, and who are having problems praying, don’t feel guilty for missing your quiet time or not praying as much as some of your super-righteous friends. Chances are, you are experiencing God in a more powerful and real way right now. You’ll bend your knees, but for now, cry your tears and ask your questions.

God isn’t a librarian. He doesn’t demand quiet and He isn’t going to slap your hand with a ruler for missing your prayer time. God loves you and he isn’t going to love you any less for skipping out on praying. He also isn’t going to love you more for praying harder.

2.) Jesus didn’t try to convert people to a new religion.

3.) You can love Jesus and truly believe in Him without “becoming a Christian.”

4.) You can “become a Christian” without knowing, loving or truly believing in Jesus.

Personally, my goal isn’t to convert anyone to Christianity. I would love for all of my friends to fall in love with Jesus and to come to Him for forgiveness and acceptance. I would love for them to experience the love I have experienced from my savior and friend. I would like everyone I come in contact with to want to be more like Jesus and to be molded into His image. I love my friends. I care deeply about them. I want that which is best for them.

The problem we face today is that we try to mold people into the image of a Christian, complete with all of our quiet time, rules, traditions, fish emblems and t- shirts, and what we end up doing is – to paraphrase Jesus – “make them twice the sons of hell” we are. I don’t want to make anyone a “son of Hell.” The last thing I want to do is put a heavy burden on someone’s back. Let’s start focusing more on Jesus and less on being good little Christians.

This week has been difficult to say the least. My wife’s Crohn’s flare up doesn’t seem to be getting any better, and the 43 doctors we are seeing haven’t been terribly helpful. Every time she returns from the doctor she has a list of new ailments and test results showing that her body is functioning about as well as the Mir space station.

Do you have any idea what it feels like to look at your wife and wonder how much longer she’s going to live? Or trying to picture your life without her? I know rationally that people seldom die from this, but the test results have me shaken. She sleeps a lot more now, and when she’s awake, she’s worried.

This particular malady has no known cause and no cure. It’s one of those times when I find myself saying, “God… what in the world are you doing? This isn’t fair.” My wife has wounds from her past that she is still dealing with and now, we find out she has a chronic illness that has the medical community scratching their collective heads. From my limited perspective on this clod of dirt, that just doesn’t seem right. I’m crying foul and hoping for a miracle. I have made my request known to God. I know He has heard my cry, but I have no indication He’s planning to take immediate action.

In short, life sucks right now. I’m confused, restless, angry, tired and anxious. I have no doubt God has a plan, but I’m growing so weary of waiting to find out what it is. I long for what’s next. I’m dying for hope right now. I don’t have any answers. All I have is questions.

I’m OK with that. I’m having to let go of some of my issues. I don’t always have to have an answer, and there are some places in life where I won’t be in control. Times like this make me realize that and they cause me to look beyond myself. So, that’s where I am right now. It’s not pleasant and I can’t exactly say life is fun right now. For now, I’ll be reading a lot of Psalms, asking a lot of questions and drawing closer to my Creator.

As much as I tend to criticize the Christian sub-culture in America, there are a number of parts of it I enjoy. I may not like all Christian music, and I may completely disagree that there is any one thing that makes one song “Christian” and another one “secular,” I must admit, I do like a good bit of Contemporary Christian music.

I’m particularly fond of the Newsboys. I kind of arrived at that party a little late. I was introduced to them shortly before they broke up, but good music is good even without the band. The music itself isn’t the only thing I like. The lyrics are a special treasure to me, because some of them are funny, sarcastic and incredibly free. They use turns of phrase I would never have thought of. These are not uptight Christians. They actually seem to know that fun exists. Here are some of my favorite examples:

“And try as you may

there is no way

to explain the kinda change

that would make an Eskimo renounce fur

that would make a vegetarian barbecue hamster”

-”Shine”

“Woke up this morning kinda blue,

Thinking through that age-old question:

How to exit a whale’s digestion?

It might behoove me to be heaved.

Head out like a human comet.

Hmmm… I wonder what rhymes with comet.”

-”Belly of the Whale”

“Mom and Dad,

I’m fair, how’s life?

Lent the money you sent me to a clown with a knife,

my career as an acrobat hasn’t begun,

but I’m busy giving blood and shoveling elephant dung.

Send Money…”

-”Reality”

“Oh, none of us knew his check-out time would come so soon

But before his brain stopped waving

He composed this tune.

When the toast is burned

And all the milk has turned

And Capt’ Crunch is waving farewell

When the big one finds you

Let this song remind you

That they don’t serve breakfast in hell.”

-”Breakfast”

“Fearsome like the sag in a fat man’s chair?
Sweeter than a patch of Rogaine hair?
How do you define what you can’t compare?
This is … my God.”

-”Who?”

“It’s not a family trait,

it’s nothing that I ate,

and it didn’t come from skating with Holy Rollers”

-”Spirit Thing”

I was leaving a special worship service tonight planning to get home, eat dinner and write a nice blog about Newsboys lyrics I find inspiring. But just as I was leaving, God sent me a much more interesting blog topic.

I’m walking up the aisle, almost out the door, and this absolute fruitcake with a buzz cut and thick glasses over his beady little eyes accosted me. Apparently, he was one of God’s messengers. He spotted me at some point during the service while I was either praying or worshiping. (You know doing the sort of thing one is supposed to do during a worship service.) Well, he saw me and I guess the spirit of God just hit him and he knew he had to come talk to me to deliver a message right after the service.

It appears God wants me to know that I need to take my hands out of my pockets when I worship. I guess they should be flying from side to side in the air while I hop from one foot to another. I suppose I could, if my Creator asked me to. I wasn’t aware that hopping and gyrating around like a little jackrabbit made the Almighty view me as higher than His other worshipers, but I suppose I could try it. I mean, I don’t want to get struck by lightning or catch a disease or anything. Also, God knows I have some secret sins that I need to confess in my “prayer closet.” God would like to use me in some very powerful ways that only He knows, but He can’t use me until I submit to Him. When I submit, my hands will come out of my pockets.

I kindly thanked the messenger, who’s breath smelled like Altoids. I know the exact smell because his tongue was practically lashing my nose. My wife tells me I was backed up as far as possible with my head back as far as it could go without me falling over, and the man was still an inch-and a half from my face. Anyway, he went on about his way. He never asked for my name and never offered his.

He was very concerned about me. Felt passionate about my worship habits. The man was clearly worried about my spiritual well-being. Of course, he was not concerned enough to find out my name, or ask anything about me. He just performed a little hit and run, a drive by “word-of-knowledge.” I shrugged, chuckled and moved on.

My wife is angry. She’s cute when she’s angry. But I’ve come to expect this type of behavior from other Christians. What kills me is that I’ve never seen this person. I go to a large church. This man doesn’t know me and I don’t know him. We’ve never even done the obligatory Sunday morning handshake before. He just came up to me because he felt led of the spirit to deliver a message to me. He didn’t try to get to know me before approaching me about my spiritual failings. He didn’t even bother to learn my name.

What if I had been visiting the church? What if I wasn’t a believer? Would I have returned to the church? Would I ever have run to the God this man claims as his?

If he had bothered to ask, I would’ve told him my name is Brian, that I have been struggling lately because of my wife’s health, and I haven’t really been praying much because it is hard to approach God in the midst of suffering, but that tonight during worship I prayed earnestly and honestly for the first time in weeks, and when I left I was feeling so much more free than I had in weeks.

He didn’t ask. He didn’t care. He saw me as a target.

I’m quiet and insecure by nature. As far as I can tell, it isn’t related to any specific un-confessed sin in my life. It’s just how I’ve always been and I don’t really have much ability to control it. I’ve struggled with insecurity my entire life and it isn’t because I’m hiding anything, I just don’t have much confidence.

I already have a lot of neurosis about the church. I tend to lock up because I know that the tendency for most Christians is to find ways to judge instead of ways to love, so from the moment I step through church doors my guard goes up. I go to church because I need God and I know I can’t make it in this world without someone to pick up the pieces whenever I screw up. I don’t go for fellowship because, by and large, I’ve given up on hollow accountability and judgmental “friendship.”

For those who are concerned about me not having enough good fellowship, I do have a small group that I love dearly. They’re not like the man who approached me today. They are wonderful and I’m OK with them because they’ve taken the time to get to know me. They know my name and they care about me. When I fall, they come alongside me and love me. That kind of depth is how I think followers of Christ should relate to one another and to those outside our faith. Shallow encounters with complete strangers aren’t at all loving and they kind of make one look like a freak.

Disclaimer for legalists, nit- pickers, and self-righteous prudes: The author of this post is secure in his Christian faith, is certain he knows Jesus, has no doubts about his salvation and believes the Bible to be “the only rule of faith and practice.” Your knee- jerk reaction to the contents of this post is neither warranted nor requested. In fact, it is strongly discouraged. Go back to your bubble and stay there until Jesus comes back.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. It may surprise some of you to learn that the Bible didn’t always have leather binding, gold pages and red- letters. It didn’t spring forth out of the Jordan River a whole and complete work while angels sang “Holy, Holy, Holy.” It was written by human hands, inspired by God yes, but penned by dirty, grimy human hands. It was written on normal paper produced by humans. It didn’t fall out of the sky and wasn’t delivered by Gabriel in God’s handwriting.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is the most important set of documents in the entire world, and I believe it is the truth from God. However, it is a vessel that God used to communicate His truth. It is not an item to worship or hold on a pedestal. Hold it in high esteem, yes, but please don’t make it an idol held on the same level as God himself. If you do that, you lose the message contained inside.

The message is so real and so rich on its own. It doesn’t need the gold pages to stand out. That’s not the style of the Bible. It was written in very common language for common people to understand. Don’t believe it? Do a little research into what the “ filthy rags” mentioned in Isaiah were used for. Even better, do a little research into what Paul meant by the word we commonly translate as “rubbish” in Philippians 3:8.

The Bible was for all and was written for all, in a language its original readers and hearers could understand. It wasn’t meant to be placed on a mountain top. In our modern Christian culture, we’ve done that, and have in many ways made the Bible itself into an idol. Want more? Even if you don’t, here’s a little list of what the Bible isn’t, and what it is.

What the Bible isn’t:

• A rule book.
• A book about religion.
• A religious artifact to be worshiped.
• A book of rules and regulations.
• A tool to gain, remain in, or abuse power.
• A magic pill.
• A normal book.

What the Bible is:

• A communication tool used by God to send his message to people.
• The stories of real people, archived so that real people would read them.
• A perfect and good God’s explanation of the world for imperfect people.
• An explanation of sin, judgment, love and grace.
• A description of the reality behind what we perceive in this life.
• A guide or roadmap, forever leading the creation into the arms of a loving creator.
• A measure, showing who we are, who God is and the space in between.
• The story of the world, from the perspective of its Creator.