real.faith blog

Looking to start a new church or grow your mega-church? Do you feel your sermons aren’t tired enough, cliche’d enough or stale enough? Do you just need a break from sermon-writing? If any of this describes you, then Uncle Luther’s Boilerplate Pop-Christian Sermon template is just what you need to have church like the stars. Simply follow the template below for an awe-inspiring sermon that will be a blessing to both your congregation and your free time.

Scripture Reading: Try not to pick anything your congregation isn’t already familiar with. We recommend Jeremiah 29:11.

Sermon:
Step 1: Start by making small talk with your congregation. Keep it light, make a few jokes. Don’t forget to stay relevant by mentioning your newly acquired Starbucks addiction.

Step 2: Tell a story from your most recent trip on an airplane. The story doesn’t have to make sense to your congregation, it just needs to relate somehow in your mind.

Step 3: Pick a point so obscure from the day’s Scripture that it is almost irrelevant. Then, inform your audience that this was just an introduction to a three-part series that you will flesh out over the next few weeks.

Step 4: Drive home your point by re-telling an inspirational nugget you received in a forwarded e-mail that is new to you, but has been going around the Internet for ten years. Pass it off as your own.

Step 5: Issue a challenge to your congregation. This will make both you and your audience feel a sense of accomplishment. It will also provide a great opening question for the start of next week’s sermon.

I’m a little late getting to this. In fact, I haven’t posted a single blog over the course of the entire holiday season. I’ve been a little consumed with the “stuff” I got for Christmas. Just keeping it real, folks. Anyway, I’m going to wrap up 2009 the same way I did 2008, with the top 9 posts of 2009 across all First Hand Ministries websites. Here they are in absolutely no order:

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO (CAN’T) HELP THEMSELVES:  (from badasschristians.com) I’m not a subscriber to the phrase “God helps those who help themselves.” I’m also not a big fan of the church’s “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality. This post is a reminder that neither phrase is found in the Bible.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT ANXIETY?: (from realfaith.blog) I wrote this blog when I was overcome with fear about something small and silly. It’s a simple list of encouraging Bible verses, but it has probably received the most traffic this year.

COMMON SENSE FOR CHRISTIANS: (from  realfaith.blog) This sort of sums up everything on this blog all year.

GOD’S CHISEL: (from teensite.net) This isn’t original content, but it is by far the most inspirational video I’ve seen on the web this year.

MISSING THE POINT: (from Jesus1st.Net) This little semi-poetic piece looks at the gap that often exists between the teachings of Jesus and the issues modern Christianity is most concerned about.

IF JESUS HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE: (from real.faith blog) Same as above, only a little more direct.

MENTAL HEALTH: THE CHURCH’S DIRTY LITTLE DEMON: (from badasschristians.com) Pearce, a guest blogger, shared her testimony about how the church she grew up in mishandled and misread her problems. Her testimony should make all Christians stop and think twice about how they feel about issues of mental health and psychology.

GOD IS NOT SHOCKED: (from real.faith blog) Do we really believe God is sovereign? Than why are we always so offended and outraged?

10 CHRISTIAN PHRASES THAT NEED TO BE EXCOMMUNICATED: (from real.faith blog) I received so much flack for this one. This was supposed to be a humorous post, but a bunch of my “brethren” took it too seriously. Some were upset because some of the phrases I picked as overused are actually found in the Bible (this doesn’t mean they can’t be over-used to the point where they lose their meaning, but that is just my not-so-humble opinion.) Others didn’t like that I used the word “excommunicated.” Some lightly chided me for not picking their most annoying Christianese phrase. Based on the feedback, I’ll probably have to write something like this again. Stay tuned.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
-Psalm 139:13-14

“The clothes make the man.”
“If you look good, you feel good.”
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”
“We can Photoshop that out.”

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

The stark contrast between our culture and God’s design is amazing, isn’t it? We buy new clothes every season based on fashion trends. We dye our hair and invest untold millions in makeup and cosmetics. Some of us have even been caught Photoshopping acne off our children’s faces. We look in the mirror and we’re never happy. We’re either too fat or too thin, too young or too old, too light or too tan, too puny or too grotesque.

I don’t know many in this day and age who look in the mirror and say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made! God, your works are wonderful!” To do so, would seem vain or narcissistic.

Of course, if we’re giving God glory and even thanking Him for the awesome way He has fashioned us, we aren’t vain at all. The way we commonly live our lives is of far greater vanity.

We place our appearance in our own hands. We deny God’s role in uniquely designing each of us and take it upon ourselves to fashion ourselves in the image of what the rest of the society calls “attractive.”

We pour untold amounts of time, energy and money into our appearance just to make ourselves cheap imitations of true beauty.

Well, anyhow, that’s my two-cents on this passage. Now, if you’ll excuse me— I need to go drop off my dry-cleaning and get my hair styled.

Where could I go to escape from you? Where could I get away from your presence?
If I went up to heaven, you would be there; if I lay down in the world of the dead, you would be there.
If I flew away beyond the east or lived in the farthest place in the west, you would be there to lead me, you would be there to help me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me or the light around me to turn into night, but even darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to you.
-Psalm 139:7-12

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I try to run from God.

I love God’s church, and I know I’m supposed to love the people of God, but too frequently, I find myself running from both— and in doing so, I run from Him. I run from reading my Bible. My growing Internet addiction and desire to be entertained by the flickering of my TV screen are simply more appealing to me.

I also run from prayer. I have a hard enough time trusting people, let alone trusting a God I can’t see. Praying, in my view, is a dangerous sport. If I ask for patience, I might just be given a situation that will build patience. If I ask to have a closer relationship with God, I figure God might just eliminate some human relationships in a painful and unpleasant way to get me there—or I might find myself with a rather unsavory illness that will make my relationship with God all the more important.

Yet— despite all of my attempts to escape— there stands a carpenter from Nazareth. Whatever road I run down, regardless of which direction I turn, that old Galilean beckons me. “Where are you going?” He says. He puts His hand on my shoulder and leads me back, “Come with me, and learn my love. Learn to put your Trust in Me.”

Despite my worries and my lack of faith. In spite of my struggles with whether or not God is really good, without regard to any of my doubts, Christ finds me and brings me back. I have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, and that is a good thing, because the choices I make when I try to escape the grace of God are just bad for me. What I think is a good move or a wise choice—often causes me ten times more pain than if I stayed put and let God lead.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. –Psalm 139:6

“God works in mysterious ways.”

“His thoughts are not our thoughts.”

“God’s ways are not our ways.”

These oft-quoted (and absolutely Biblical) phrases tend to come to mind during a time of personal struggle or deep tragedy, but just as the verse quoted above, they speak to a far deeper truth.

Our mind is finite. It has boundaries. We have a mental capacity and a cap on the knowledge we can attain. God, on the other hand, is infinite. He is the creator of all knowledge and the origin of all wisdom.

We have been on a quest throughout our entire existence to try to figure out ourselves, our world, our universe and our God— and try as we may, regardless of the answers we come up with— our collective knowledge will always add up to a tiny blue dot on an infinite canvas we can neither fully see nor fully grasp.

God’s knowledge is so high above ours that it goes beyond all we can fathom—and yet, what does Psalm 139 tell us about the focus of this omniscient God’s thoughts? It tells us that He has searched our souls, that He knows when we sit and when we stand, that He knows what we’re going to say before we say it, He knows what we do and He knows where we are.

This amazing God with all this infinite knowledge chooses to make the business of the creatures on this tiny blue dot in an alarmingly large universe His business.

Not only is the knowledge of God too wonderful and high for us to attain, His knowledge of every one of us is much loftier than we could ever grasp.

I know I cannot comprehend the knowledge of God. I know how finite I am. But if the knowledge of God is something I will never be able to wrap my mind around, the love of God is even more puzzling. I cannot understand why a God so great and mighty and above all things would bother with a poor, helpless sinner like me. It reminds me of the lyrics from an increasingly popular song titled “My Savior, My God” by Aaron Shust:

“That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful man to die,
You count it strange,
So once did I,
Before I knew my Savior.”

“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” –Psalm 139:5

I have control issues.

A number I don’t recognize called my cell phone twice today. When I called back, it was a jewelry store employee who promptly hung up on me when I asked who from a jewelry store could possibly have business with me.

I spent the next half hour doing a reverse lookup on this unlisted number in a vain attempt to figure out where the call came from and why.

I don’t do well with situations where I’m not in control and unfortunately, I don’t get to control much in life. I don’t know how atheists do it. I’d be in a loony bin within a matter of weeks if I believed the entire universe was just a random mess with no order to it.

For neurotic control freaks like me, the above verse is quite soothing. On days when all I see is chaos, God reminds me that He is in control and that His presence is everywhere. Not only that, but His hand is upon me.

That’s comforting. The hands that created the universe also hold me. The hand that is responsible for both calamity and blessing also keeps me within Its strong grip. The hands that shaped mountains and planets like clay also shape my path. The hand that holds the keys to the Kingdom and molds the course of history also guides me in times of indecision and trouble.

I can’t always be in control—but I am always held.

“Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely.” –Psalm 139:4

Perhaps this clever tactic would keep Uncle Luther from saying whatever pops into his mind.

This will come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog, but if there’s one aspect of my personality that’s likely to get me in trouble, it’s my sarcasm. I love a good wisecrack, and given the chance to be serious or go for the quick joke, I’ll choose the joke 80 percent of the time.

When I read this verse, I often think; “Lord, if you know what I’m going to say before I say it, why don’t you stop me? If you did, I’d get into less trouble and I’d probably have more friends.”

I have a hard time putting the brakes on from the time a thought enters my mind until it leaves my mouth. When I was a child, a large majority of the spankings I received were related to my being a smart-aleck. Consequently, as an adult, I tend to stay quiet in social settings. Oh, I have quite a few funny thoughts and observations, but I hesitate to verbalize them for fear of being ostracized.

God knows every word before I utter it. He even knows the words I choose not to speak. He knows my thoughts. How embarrassing! He knows my thoughts about others. He knows my thoughts about myself. He knows my thoughts about Him. God, forgive me. If my words are filthy, sardonic, cruel and offensive, how much more are my thoughts? My Lord, do you have to look? Can you close your eyes?

At the same time, there is comfort in this verse. When I speak and offend a friend, or even a stranger, or my not-so-gentle readers, it is usually because my words were taken the wrong way. God is the only one who truly knows the intent of what I say.

Despite my tough exterior and my “I don’t give a rip” attitude, at heart I would never want to cause harm to anyone. I would never knowingly say anything to intentionally hurt someone. I’ve had to explain that to more than a few friends over the years. It is comforting to know that there is Someone who knows the intent of my words completely.

photo credit: perfect day dream

“You notice everything I do and everywhere I go.” –Psalm 139:3

I’m a private person. I’d venture to say I am more private than most. I think it comes from being an only child. Growing up, I always had my own room, my own stuff and my own time. I’m so private, I won’t even let my wife in the bathroom when I’m “covering my feet,” as the Old Testament so delicately puts it.

Of course, a locked door and a request for privacy may deter my wife, but it doesn’t stop God. According to this verse, God takes notice of everywhere I go and everything I do once I get there.

I guess that has its benefits. I had a friend who once told me that when he goes to the grocery store, realizing God is there with him, he asks “Lord, what would you have me eat this week?” I’m a little afraid of that question, because I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t appreciate my caffeine addiction or my fly-like love of sugar.

But, it is an interesting thought. God is not just the God of the great, but of the small as well. He goes with me to the grocery store, and He watches as I go about my morning routine. He is aware of the OCD issue I have when it comes to setting my alarm clock at night.

God notices all of my quirks.

A lot of people would take this verse and talk about purity of thought. Most Christians would probably take this verse and remind you to be on your best behavior because the eyes of Texas are always upon you.

That’s been done. What interests me about this verse is that my quirks and inconsistencies are known by my creator. He takes time to notice that I eat each item of food on my plate completely before moving on to the next. He is aware that I misplaced my stereo remote three days ago and have been going quite mad ever since.

He knows which DVDs I’m going to dust off and watch when I’m sick. (They’re the same every time.)

He sees my quirks, and has a good chuckle because He knows that particular set of oddities belongs only to me and no one else.

“You discern my thoughts from afar.” –Psalm 139:2

This line is both comforting and frightening. It is comforting in the sense that knowing God listens to my thoughts gives me a feeling of connectedness with my Creator. It brings a tremendous amount of solace to know God understands me so well and so deeply as to know my very thoughts.

But it is disturbing and terrifying at the same time. I know my thoughts. I know how carnal they are, how frivolous and blasphemous they are. If I could peel back the curtain and let others see my thoughts, you would see how vain, self-centered, manipulative, paranoid and depraved my thoughts are. If I were to truly speak what was on my mind, I wouldn’t have a friend in this world.

My thoughts are the one place I don’t want to let God in. I don’t want Him to know my worst sentiments or to let Him hear the idle thoughts that come out of nowhere and that I don’t even think I can control. My mind can be a scary place, even for me— and I don’t like to think my Father in Heaven would want to even take a peek in there— but he does. Over and over again.

He sees my thoughts clearly and chooses to do so. Even more unfathomable is that He chooses to love me, even after knowing what goes on in my mind. That is an indescribably powerful love. Think about your darkest most carnal most evil thoughts… if your spouse or closest friend were aware of those, would they still be able to love you?

This is the true measure of God’s unconditional love! His thoughts are not our thoughts, but He loves us despite even our most vulgar thoughts.

“You know when I sit and when I rise.” –Psalm 139:2

You may not care when Uncle Luther sits or rises, but God does.

Of course, if one believes in an all-knowing God, one would have to conclude He is aware of all we do. But don’t brush over the power of this verse. Don’t look at it just as Scriptural evidence of God’s omniscience. Look at the minutia. God knows when I sit and when I rise.

That He knows this may be obvious, but the fact that He cares is amazing. How many people do you care that much about? When you’re at work, do you care if your spouse is sitting or standing? I love my wife more than I could ever describe in this blog, but I’ve never sat at work and thought, “I wonder if she’s sitting down right now.”

Social networking allows us to keep track of such small details, but even though someone on Twitter may inform me they are sitting down (in 140 characters or less, of course,) I’m not going to care. I might think “Thanks for sharing. That’s nice.” Then I would go on about my day and forget. It’s such a minor detail.

And yet, God is aware of when we sit and when we stand. The God who is described as all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-present, actually bothers with such minor details of my life.

I don’t know what to do with that kind of love. I’m certainly not capable of loving that way.

It’s easy to think that God is with us during our great triumphs and that He is available to rescue us in our deep despair, but it isn’t easy to see God in the small stuff. Does God really know when I cut my toenails? Is He with me when I’m driving to work? When I walk to the mailbox every day, is He watching me then?

He is so great and my life is so dull. Why would He take such an interest in my sitting and rising, my coming and going? Why does God make my business His business?

photo credit: lipstickproject